It’s Great to be Home - Everyone Tells me I smell and asks me to show them my arse. I can’t find new clothes and my bite mark isn’t at all impressive. Now, I’m reflecting deeply, trying to see if I’ve changed, been enlightened, or gotten over Justin Beiber. Well, all I can do is think about those poor, poor people who had to sit next to me on buses for 16, 24, and 40 hour bus rides. It took 3 days of buses and the ol’ Death Train to get from Sao Paolo, Brazil to Santa Cruz, Bolivia. The Bus ride on the second night was so humid the next morning I could smell myself. After the humidity in the train the third night I couldn’t stand myself. Imagine how that poor son of a bitch next to me felt...

T'was a lovely morning in Armenia, Colombia, waking in my lovely room in the basement made up of four bland concrete walls. I was even well rested considering I woke up everytime a big rig drove past, making the room shake and scream enough I thought I was waking to the fucking apocolypse. Fortunately the hostel IN the bus station had been full the previous evening, otherwise we may have never encountered that lovely place across the street. The street filled with outstanding citizens promising us we wouldn't be robbed...

I was sitting in a bar in Boulder, Colorado reflecting on the previous day where I sat in a hotel room in Huntsville, Alabama with a twenty dollar hair cutter and the last four IPAs of a six pack from a microbrewery (for you see my friends, the beer of Zeus here in the United States contains such massive strength that of which I'd lost any tolerance I may at once had... Two beers at a time had been doing the job)

You all know the title is true. I've been cleverly deceived left and right since my return to the northern hemisphere. Someone needs to tell these people, they won't read it on my blog because all my friends are fucking hot. And if you arent the best looker, your at least cool as hell cause you read my shit.

Machu pichu: It works like this friends. Gate 1, Opens 4:45, gate 2, a 1700 stair climb from gate 1, opens at 6. Most people take the buses but the elite few climb up. It was a twenty minute walk to the first gate which i started at 3:50 to get in line for the climb. I was cruising along with some people behind me and they were a little more anxious then me. However, much more stupid than I. Decided about 10 meters from the line to pass (cut) me.